Brer Palin

Inspired by a fabulous outing to the Center for Puppetry Arts where we enjoyed a production of Brer Rabbit and Friends...

So 'dere she was, Brer Palin, jes hoppin' clippity, clippity, clippity, clippity, on de way to a good ol' fashion barbecue. She lickin' her lips when she thinkin' 'bout that juicy moose meat. Den all a da sudden, she stop. "What's dat?" she say. For dere, sittin' by de road is a tar baby. Not jes any ordinary tar baby neither. 'Dis one dressed in a blue shirt wit white pants an' a little red hat sittin' 'top its head. 'De tar baby, he jes stares at Brer Palin, an' he say nothin'.

"Why you starin' at me?" she say.

The tar baby, he say nothin'.

So Brer Palin, she walks up to de tar baby. "If you don't say nothin'," she say, "I'm goin' to punch you one!"

The tar baby, he say nothin'. He jes sits an' stares at her wit his blank eyes.

So Brer Palin, she pulls back her arm far as she can, an' she lets it go. Blip! She punches dat tar baby, an' her han', it sticks fast. She get so mad, she pull back her other arm far as she can an' lets dat one go. Blip! It sticks fast. She get even madder an' start kickin' dat tar baby. Soon, both her legs all stuck up in de tar.

By an' by, who happens by but Brer 'Bama and Brer Biden. Dey all snickerin' and winkin'. "Looks like you a little stuck today," say Brer 'Bama.

"Yeah," say Brer Biden, "looks like we might hafta do you in!" Dey laugh and laugh.

Brer Palin looks at Brer 'Bama and Brer Biden. Brer 'Bama, he so cool, an' ever'body so fooled by his smooth talkin' and all his promises. Biden, he as slick as an oil spill off de coast of Alaska. "Please," she say, "you can take all my money an' give it to ever'body else, even if dey's not workin' hard as me. But please, please, please don't 'lect dat John McCain."

Brer 'Bama and Brer Biden, they jes look at each other an' get ta chucklin'. Den Brer Palin, she say, "You can make me pay more tax. You can stop dem fightin' army folks from protectin' us, an' you can even pal 'round wit some of dem terrists. Jes' please, please don't 'lect dat John McCain."

Brer 'Bama an' Brer Biden jes rollin' on de floor hollerin' and laughin'. Brer Palin say, "An' you can kill dose babies, learn anything you want to de kids in dey schools. Jes' please, please don't 'lect dat John McCain."

Den Brer 'Bama an' Brer Biden, dey looks at each other an' gets all biggity-like. Den Brer 'Bama, he say, "Brer Palin, we ain't gonna 'lect dat McCain fella." An' dey keeps on laughin' so hard dey don't even see Brer Palin wrastlin' wit de Tar Baby. She break one han' loose, den 'nother. Den she break her feet loose too.

She turn 'round an' takes off lickety-split, hollerin' over her shoulder, "You mighta fooled ever' body else, but you ain't fooled me. You're sho gonna see me agin in four years!"

It's going to be a terrifying an interesting 4 years, my friends!

A Note from the Author: I know Brer Palin, she ain't a brer, but I works wit what I got, folks!