Conversations with Audrey

Yesterday, Audrey woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And her grumping persisted the entire day.

Our bedtime conversation went like this, however:

Me: Goodnight, my baby.

Her: Doodnight, Mommy.

Then she puts her sweet little arms around my neck and hugs so tightly I can't breathe.

But I don't mind.

Then softly, Audrey: You're the best mommy in the world!

Suddenly, not a moment of her grumping holds any significance whatsoever.

And we finish our bedtime conversation as usual:

Me: I love you!

Her: I wuv you too!

Me: I love you three!

Her: I wuv you four!

Me: I love you a hundred and two!

Her: You win!


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This morning I sat her up on the bathroom counter as I usually do to clean and rotate her new earrings. In an attempt to tame her unruly hair if but for a moment to complete the task at hand, I gathered it, twisted it, and pinned it all up on her head with a clip. She turned to admire herself in the mirror behind her. "Hey!" she exclaimed with clear delight in seeing her reflection, "that's what all girls do with their hair when they go out!"

She opted to keep the clip in her hair.

Later she eavesdropped as I recounted the conversation to her daddy. She giggled, pleased with herself, after I had finished the tale. "Yes," she said, "that's what girls wear when they go out to run."

"You mean when they go out for a jog?" I implored.

"Yes. They all put their hair up like this," she explained, motioning to her very chic do.

Sweet Thing

Audrey: I love you!

Me: I love you too, Baby!

Audrey: I love everyone in this house!

Me: Me too!

Audrey: I love Michael and Jacob even though they won't let me hug or tiss them.

Me: They don't know what they're missing out on, do they?

Halloween Conversations with a Four-Year-Old

Audrey: When is Halloween?

Me: Tomorrow.

Audrey: (cue high, shrill, excited voice) Tomorrow?!!!!

Me: Yep!

Audrey: Does that mean when I wake up it will be dark, and we can go Trick-or-Treating?!!!!

Week's End Ramblings

Right now, this very moment, I am supposed to be cleaning the house. In fact, aside from a spelling test and some math fact practice, I've given the kids the day off school; I won't even check a box on today's attendance sheet in spite of the spelling and math. Today I am supposed to be cleaning because we're showing the house this evening. I'm not freaking out, mind you, not like I have in the past. I will clean it like I would for any guest, but I may not even move the world's ugliest toaster oven out to the car. I may just leave it sitting there, dejected, on the counter. And I may or may not prepare a baked good to leave on the counter. I've decided that in this market, it will take a miracle to sell this house, so there is no use fretting over all the things that could be done to beautify the place if I had more than one day's warning.

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The Princess was humming the other day. She stopped abruptly and exclaimed with wonder, "Hey, when I do this--Hmmhmmmhmmm, it feels like there is a bee in my mouth!"

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The Crud has officially left our house. The Crud, in fact, had a name tagged on to it by our doctor: strep throat. All 3 of the younger ones had it; I didn't take Alex in because by that time, she was all better. She was, after all, the culprit who started it all, the first one down. Perhaps she got over it without the use of antibiotics. Perhaps the others would have as well, but we're still sucking down pink stuff twice a day because that made the Crud exit a bit earlier.

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School went pretty well this week. We studied the skeletal system yesterday, and my little skeletons had fun labeling their almost-life-sized skeletons that hang on the hallway wall by the kitchen (and, no, those are not coming down for this afternoon's showing; they took too long to put up!). The 3 olders have been writing daily "spooky" stories, which I will post on Homeschool Writer's Block at some point. Their writings have sprung from prompts I've gotten from various online sources. Very cute stories, though none are very scary--usually the "strange noise that is going bump in the night" turns out to be a friendly bumblebee bumping into the window or something.

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It's gotten cold here. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the cold? If we sell the house today, maybe we can still pull off that move to Florida, i.e.: warmer weather.

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The chore I am most putting off at this very moment is that of cleaning up the media room/hubby's office/my hobby room. Why? Because the floor is littered with little winter clothes. I did the seasonal attire switcheroo a couple weeks ago, and while I still need to do some clothes shopping for the older three, the Princess has enough clothes for at least 4 princesses. Girl clothes are so much cuter and so much more fun to buy, so we have quite a stock for her, plus all of her older sister's hand-me-downs. I'm not sure where I'm going to put them, especially now that she shares a room with her sister and there is no more closet space.

If you need me, I'll be standing in the middle of the media room/hubby's office, my hobby room with a puzzled look on my face.

Nuts

I'm a big Glenn Beck fan. Yeah, sometimes his Doom and Gloom unnecessarily feeds by tendencies towards worry, but I appreciate his humor, his parody, his honesty, and his curiosity.

If you haven't been following him, you have missed all of his investigations on the community organizing group ACORN. Apparently, it hasn't been lost on my 4-year-old, though (and don't worry--we turn off any inappropriate content):

Today I turned on Beck's show and Audrey said, "Hey, there's the guy who always talks about nuts!"

Faceblog or Blogbook or Something Like That

In this crazy world of technology, my two outlets and only opportunity for adult interaction--Facebook and blogging--often pass each other in the virtual hallway. Which probably bores my very few blog readers because the majority of them are also Facebook friends. In other words, you, my few readers AND Facebook friends get to read my status and then elaboration here. Lucky you.

So, about those status updates today:

First, Kathleen wants to start Homeschoolers Anonymous. Hi, my name is Kathleen, and I'm a homeschooler. This morning I have a strong urge to run after the big, yellow bus screaming, "Wait! Wait! You forgot my children! PLEASE take them!"

It's true. It was a terrible day in our Humble Homeschool for the Gifted and Quirky. I know some days are like that, but it does get a bit discouraging to feel like certain boys who shall remain nameless haven't learned a thing. I ended up sending both boys to the Principal's Office which, this week, happens to be our bed where the principle Principal has lain prostrate for a week and a half. The Principal gave them, um, a pep talk and things went a little more smoothly.

Thankfully, there's always tomorrow. A new day. A new beginning. Here's to new days and new beginnings.

Of course, there were light moments of the day. Later, I posted this:

Kathleen --Audrey to me: When I was in your tummy, I touched your heart, and it felt like a raspberry.

One friend commented, "HOW do you reply to something like that?? Half of me wants to melt and say, "Awwwwwww!" the other half is going, "?? 0_o ??"

Exactly what I thought. WHERE did she come up with such a thing? And, well, it warmed my heart too, but then, I guess she's had lots of practice pulling my heartstrings.

The Impropriety of a Bear

In order to further enjoy our adventures with Sal and blueberry picking, Audrey and I are studying bears. Today I presented her with a simple bear sketch which she had to label with the following body parts: head, paws, body, and fur.

When she came to the latter term, she pointed to the arrow that directed attention to the bear's behind and asked, "What do I write here? Inappropriate?"

(Edit: So I'm reading this now, and it's probably a little unclear. Since I keep this blog for the sake of charting my little human being's adorable moments, I want to clarify so that when I am old and senile, I will have complete understanding. Audrey actually said the word "inappropriate". I did not use the italicized word "inappropriate" to replace any other term she might have used. And the blank that pointed to the bear's butt was for the word "fur". Not that a bear does not have fur covering his entire body, but anyway the arrow pointed to his butt. OK. All cleared up now. Oh, and I guess the reason she chose the word "inappropriate" is because we are always addressing her wild compensity for blurting out body parts at inappropriate times.)

Private

We've had a lot of discussions in this house about the meaning of the word
"private(s)" and why it is inappropriate for a certain princess to approach any one of her brothers' friends with the statement, "You're a boy, you have a ....."

But the Princess had a serious question for her daddy. "Daddy," she said, "why is one of the penguins in Madagascar 2 named 'Private'?"

So many words with so many meanings. It's a confusing world for a little girl.

Hatching Isn't Just for Eggs

To avoid the Mother's Day Rush tomorrow noon, we decided to go out for lunch today. I chose Long Horn. The kids love this restaurant because they are served a bowl of peanuts as an appetizer, peanuts which have not yet been shelled. Because I know it's difficult to catch on to shelling peanuts--especially with little fingers--I started shelling some for Audrey. She stopped me, however. "I don't want you to hatch my peanuts," she protested indignantly. "I want to hatch them by myself!"

Alright, alright.

She worked on "hatching" a couple by herself and finally handed one to me. "Will you please help me hatch this one?"


On the way home from lunch, she was quite the jokester:

Audrey: Knock, knock!
Me: Who's there?
Audrey: Sock on your head.
Me: Sock on your head who?
Audrey: Purple!

Huh?

A Shocking Task

We've developed quite a love/hate relationship with this little puppy of ours. We strongly dislike him (yes, I've always encouraged my kids not to use the "h" word) when he's peeing or pooping on our rug, or when he's shredding a piece of paper or the carpet or the Reading Corner chair or my baby's toes. We love him in the evening after the kids have gone to bed; he's so cuddly and calm then. In these evening hours he konks out on my his chair and is the most lovable little pup in the world.

Because we can't live all of our hours in the evening hours, we decided it's got to be boot camp around here. (And if you're some type of PETA freak reading this, just stop now and move on to another blog.) It came down to a decision: kick puppy to the curb or train him right. So after a very pricey vet visit, we bought him a very pricey collar...of the shocking sort. Our last dogs were trained very efficiently on the invisible fence, so we know this type of "therapy" works. And so far it has been quite effective. The only thing is that obviously you have to catch him the act to zap him. So what time he spends out of his crate I follow him around very faithfully and train him with my little green remote. Now he's to the point that he generally just needs to hear the audible beep as a warning and he stops his unwanted behavior. Of course on a couple of occasions I've had to zap him one. He's learning, though, so hopefully we won't be booting him to the curb, and our relationship will begin to tip the scales on the love.

I must add that when we first got the collar, unpacked it and assembled it, we explained the whole process to the kids and also warned that the little green remote is off-limits to little fingers who love pressing buttons. The kids listened with rapt attention, and Michael asked, "When he gets shocked, will we be able to see his bones?"

Perhaps the boy has watched one too many cartoons?

Thanks a lot, Son

You know it's time to reclaim the New Year's resolution when your son pats you on the belly and says, "Mom, are you having another baby?"

Estimation Station

During my one-year stint as a second grade teacher several years ago, one of the students' favorite things was the Estimation Jar. One student would bring the jar in full of goodies: M&Ms, Skittles, marshmallows. Inevitably some would bring the jar stuffed with less popular items like paperclips or cotton balls...probably at the prompting of a sugar-conscious mama. On Day 1 of our estimation game, each student would submit their guess on the quantity of items in the jar. The estimates would be posted in a visible place so as to build anticipation for the next day. On Day 2, I would reach in and grab a handful of whatever was in the jar. We would count just that handful and then return it to the jar. After seeing a partial count, students were permitted to revise their estimate. Finally, we would count the items...and then devour the contents (unless of course we were stuck with paperclips or cotton balls). Whoever had the closest estimate got to take the jar home to fill for the next week.

Motivated by an online math class I'm taking to maintain my teaching certificate, I decided to bring the Estimation Jar into our house. It's not quite as fun since the jar doesn't actually go home with someone who gets to surprise the class with the special contents. However, the kids were quite intrigued this morning when they came to breakfast to find a jar full of M&Ms sharing the table. And it became, of course, the first task on our school schedule for today.

There was a pretty wide range of guesstimates: 65, 99, and 250. My favorite was the Princess's guess, though. I said, "Audrey, how many M&Ms do you think are in the jar?"

"Ummm...a bunch!"

Well said. I think she may have a chance at winning this one.

Our Little Robot

Audrey says the funniest things. Often times, she will quip in a monotone voice, "I. Am. A. Robot." Her newest thing as she doles out hugs and kisses is to say, "I'm a kissing machine!" or "I'm a hugging machine!" This morning I asked her for a hug, and she said, "I am a hugging machine, and I'm out of batteries!"

After determining that her batteries go in her back, I replaced her batteries so she could once again be a functioning hugging machine.

Random Ramblings

Random Ramble #1
We took in the Magical Nights of Lights last night at Lake Lanier. Thankfully we got there right at dusk because the crowds followed us. Apparently the recession hasn't yet hit the hundreds of thousands of cars that snaked down the road leading to the park entrance. This is tradition for us, and usually we get out at Santa's Village to purchase ornaments. We had a sick one, though, so we figured the 30 degree weather couldn't be good for her. We're trying to get her healed before we arrive at the North Pole.


Random Ramble #2
After lunch I began the Afternoon of Katy. I haven't had my nails done in forever, so I decided to try a new salon in our area. Very nice, but strangely, they had a movie channel movie playing for their clients' enjoyment. Did you hear me right? A movie channel. Which means anything goes...like naked people. At least it wasn't a love scene or something, but rather someone posing for an artist. Who happens to paint naked people. A little disconcerting on a huge plasma screen TV on the wall in a room full of strangers. Thankfully the guy doing my nails was paying attention to my nails and not to the movie. Before I decided on the Afternoon of Katy, I had toyed with the idea of making it a Girls' Afternoon so the girls could get little flowers and stuff painted on their nails. Thankfully, since Alex was sick, it was just me. Note to self: find a more family friendly salon. Or maybe suggest the Game Show Network or HGTV next time.

Random Ramble #3
My in-laws are here to spend the night and tomorrow with us. Today is really our Christmas Eve because tomorrow we are celebrating Christmas. My 80-year-old father-in-law just had a cup of coffee and noted that it was such a good cup of coffee, he felt like getting up and dancing. You don't usually get such a good cup of coffee at our house...neither of us drinks coffee; I don't even know how to work the coffee pot. This coffee was left behind when my brother-in-law was over the other night. I guess that kind of makes every event at our house a BYOC event.

Random Ramble #4
I waited in anticipation for my father-in-law to entertain us with dance, but my husband decided instead to introduce him to the Wii. He actually played a few minutes of Wii tennis the other day, but that was before we had hooked up the Wii Fit. I never thought I would find an electronic device as rude as my husband's GPS, but Rude GPS Woman: meet the Wii. When I play Wii Tennis, I always lose. When you lose, your Mii hangs its head and a gleeful YOU LOSE!! flashes in huge letters above the Mii's head.

That's not the worst part, though. Meet Wii Fit. When you first set your Mii up with Wii Fit, you take a little fitness test. My husband's Mii was quite entertaining to the kids. After the test, the Wii Fit plumped up his Mii character and declared him the Wii Fit age of 55! He has a good sense of humor, though. Much better than mine...about weight anyway. Thankfully, it didn't plump up my Mii, although it did put me at age 36. It said my Wii Fit age is +1. It had me enter my birth date. If the thing is soooo smart, it ought to know that I will be 36 in 2 months!!

The Wii Fit also has balancing and Yoga exercises. Just as I begin one of the stances and am about to relax, up flashes a balance circle on the screen. You are supposed to balance so that the dot in the circle stays IN the circle. Ideally, it should stay in the center of the circle. Inevitably, as I am standing there, my "Trainer" will say, "You're a little shaky!" Well, Wii Fit Trainer, you're a little....

At least it didn't give me the balance comment my husband and father-in-law got. By the way, my father-in-law's Wii age is 75! After they took a balance test, it said, "Balance is not your forte. Do you stumble a lot when you walk?" Surely someone out there will sue Nintendo for this rudeness?

Random Ramble #5
Due to illnesses, a last minute planned trip to the North Pole, and a general non-Christmas-y spirit this year, I had to cheat on Tradition. I never got to making cookies for decorating. So I purchased the Gingerbread People Kit. And the kids decorated them today. Anti-climactic. I'll do better next year, Tradition, I promise.

Random Ramble #6

We're taking my in-laws to a Japanese Steakhouse tonight, the kind with the hibachi where they cook in front of you. My in-laws love it, and my kids love it. Least most of them do. My now 9-year-old daughter is still afraid of the part where they set the grill ablaze. When she sees our personal cook make the preparations for the fire, she politely excuses herself to the bathroom.

Random Ramble #7

My little engineer continues to play non-stop with his Lego truck. He declared today that he found a mistake that Lego made. He's right...one of the little men has his arms on backwards. Who else would notice something like that?

On another note, I was finally made aware today of the incredible depth of Michael's Lego Project when he showed me the 4 instruction books he followed to assemble his truck. Each book is approximately 50 pages long!

Random Ramble #8

In the words of one funny little Princess: Merry Tristmas to all and....dood night!

Silly Girl

As I was wrestling her into her pajamas, Audrey said, "I can say 'little house on the prairie' with my mouth closed."

Well, there's a new one. "OK," I said. "Go ahead."

"Mmhm mhmh mm mm mmhmm."

"Wow! That's pretty good. Who taught you that?"

"Nobody. I taught me. Audgrey taught me."

Audrey Bug

I was very busy this afternoon wasting time on the computer...blog reading, FaceBook, the usual suspects. Audrey came in and started on a long description of a bug she had just seen in a spider web in the dining room (how did that get there anyway...I promise it was clean for Thanksgiving!). She said, "The bug is not awive. It looks like this:"

Learning the Important Stuff...

Michael: Daddy, I learned to hold my toots in today. I needed to toot at Co-Op, and I didn't!

A Remedy for the Big S

Everyone knows that Socialization is the question of the day when it comes to homeschooling. I for one have never been the least bit worried about this issue because I know my children are adequately--if not overly--socialized. Today we did a little socialization...just in case I'm wrong--we had a playdate with the kids' very special friends Grace and Jack. And I must say that I enjoy the comraderie between Grace and Jack's mom and me as much as the kids enjoy each other.

So it was with much regret that we watched the family begin to get ready to go. There was much begging and much cajoling: "PLEASE let them stay forever." "Could they at least spend the night?" Caught up in the moment of sadness, Michael devised the perfect plan: Pointing at our large front yard, he said to his friends' mom, "You should have your builder knock down your house and build it again over there."

I'm not sure I would want my friend's house...um, in my front yard, but you know what? It sure would be nice to have a loved family so close. And with two best friends right in...your front yard...what better way to address the Socialization issue?

Classical Music of the Middle Ages?

I'm itching to get to some composer study, but I'm also incredibly obsessed with keeping my electives tied to our History studies. Obviously, there weren't too many Beethovens or Mozarts tromping through the lands of the Byzantine Empire or across the deserts of Muhammed's neck of the woods. So I have settled...for an armenian composer from the 700s named Stepanos Sunetsy.

Sunetsy's hits include Psalm No. 1, No. 2, and No. 3, which I downloaded from www.classicalarchives.com (someday I'll take the time to learn how to put an actual link on here!). Here are the kids comments:

Michael: I liked it because it sounded like pretty music.

Jacob: I thought it was sweet music and pretty music.

(I think "pretty" may have been prompted because I let them watch the swirly things on Windows Media Player as they listened.)

Alex: I felt like I was in sort of a big, dark room with that music playing. And it was really warm in the room and smelled good too. I thought it was from either India or Russia. Then I felt there were people dancing around in white clothes with little cloths wrapped around their head, and they wanted me to join them.

(As a side note, I have to say that she actually said, "...smelled good too, like wine." I omittted "wine" because I don't want to offend anyone, but then that's a funny part of her description I want to archive!)

I have a feeling I may stray from my timeline in order to get some good music in the mix, especially since I have some free gifts and two composer CDs and books in the mail. Yes, I'm one of those suckers that sends in the tear off sheet that says, "Yes! Please rush my two books for only $1.99 (+ S & H) along with my free gifts..." And, yes, I'm always excited that I get the gold sticker that allows me to claim the maximum number of gifts...even though I'm completely aware that there really aren't any silver stickers out there (and pity the poor person who would get a silver sticker!). Until we get my CDs, composer books, and all of my free gold sticker gifts, however, we'll continue studying some very obscure composers from the Middle Ages!

What's In a Name?

I love to hear toddlers talk using their own toddler-ese. And one of the cutest things to note are the names that toddlers assign to various family members. When we brought Michael home, Alex dubbed him "Mi-Mal." In turn, as Michael reached toddlerhood, Alex became "Ashy." And Jacob still calls Alex "Awex." Now it's Audrey's turn, and she has the most creative names of all.

Last night during devotions, I asked, "Who would like to pray?" Audrey gave an enthusiastic, "Mee-ee!" So she prayed in her normal fashion, repeating words from my phrases:

Mommy: Lord, please help Alex.

Audrey: Da-da

Mommy: And Michael.

Audrey: Bize

Mommy: And Jacob.

Audrey: Bize

Mommy: And Audrey.

Audrey: Baby

Mommy: And Mommy and Daddy.

Audrey: Mommy, Daddy

We aren't sure where "Da-da" came from for Alex, unless it caught on when I've occasionally called Alex "Alexandra" (usually followed by her middle and last name as well as a reprimand!). And, until she began calling Daddy "Daddy" rather than "Dada", it got confusing around here. As for "Bize," the last time Audrey prayed, she called Michael "Ba-pal" (I can hear that), and she called Jacob "Deese" (don't ask). It is my theory that "Bize" comes from us always referring to the pair as the "boys." At any rate, Audrey-ese is truly creative and unique!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet; however, I think 'tis much sweeter coming from the mouth of a Princess requesting a brother or sister's attention!