Department of Human Resources
To Whomever This May Concern:
Since 2004, I have held the position of Toothfairy. Although I am honored to hold this position, I feel my resignation would be in the best interest of my clients. In the past, I found it easy to concentrate in full on the task at hand; however, lately, I have done a poor job of completing each project and completing it well. On the Michael Project my attention to detail was lacking, and my customer was forced to expend extra time and energy searching for his dividends only to find them hidden in the recesses of his pillow.
Although I did have a successful Jacob Project just last week, on my most recent job, the Alex Project, again my customer awoke to find no dividends. I suggested she search in the recesses of Jacob's pillow as perhaps I simply had my last project in mind while completing this one. She turned up nothing. Finally, I directed her to the guest quarters where she used to take up her residence. I suggested that perhaps in my rush to get the job completed, I simply forgot she had moved. Thankfully, she discovered her dividends there.
So, in conclusion, it is with much regret that I am submitting my resignation, but I'm sure you will have no trouble finding a replacement who will serve these wonderful customers with a dependable sharpness of mind. If, on the other hand, you find no capable replacement, please do call on me when projects arise as I have developed a special relationship with my customers. Thank you for the honor of serving for 3 1/2 years.