Today I discovered my oldest three children can cry on command. On command as in sign them up to star in the next movie based on a Nicholas Sparks book. I found this out in the car on the way to the bank to get my Jury Duty excuse notarized. Alex suddenly announced, "I can make myself cry. I'll just think of the saddest thing in the world."
Me: "Oooo-kay. What's the saddest thing in the world?"
Alex: "Dead puppies."
She bowed her head for a minute and then, her voice all shaky, says, "See?" Sure enough. Tears streaming down her little cheeks. I was a little stunned and said so.
Then: "We can do it too," say two voices from the way back.
Me: "Yeah, right!"
Alex: "No, Mom, it's true. Jacob's the one who did it first."
So I look in the rearview mirror and there is Jacob staring back at me with big tears welling up in his blue eyes. Michael's tears were hidden behind his glasses, which I requested he remove so I could be witness to this very unusual phenomenon.
Unfortunately, the three of them refuse to allow me to photograph this special talent, so there is just my word. But, really, it's quite amazing.
Lord, please wash the stars out of their eyes with their fake tears because I don't dream Hollywood when I see their futures. Please?