Sunday, February 27, 2011

It's Not About Me

Audrey coloring

Psalm 127:3 - Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.


"Mommy, will you please print a coloring page for me?" She hesitates as she makes her request. She knows. She can guess what my answer will be.

I sigh. "Not right now, Baby," I mumble, not looking up from whatever important task I am engaged in.

Predictable.

I glance up and see a look flash across her face. What is it? Resentment? Disappointment? Or maybe just a Why did I even bother to ask? look.

I don't want to be that mom anymore.

I don't want to be the mom who always says No or Wait or Not now or Later.

I don't want to be the mom who rationalizes that she is "here for them" just because she is physically present in the same room.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Pondering. And listening. Finally listening to the promptings. I've been bombarded by them as of late...various blogger friends who have voiced their decisions to slow down, to change their priorities; a Bible study at church encouraging us parents to remember what it's all about; words from One Thousand Gifts (Voskamp) reaching out, shaking me. Don't you hear? Haven't you figured it out yet?

It's not about you.

How do I want my children to remember me? That was our mom...she always loaded the dishwasher just right. She made sure there were no crumbs on the floor. She had a thousand Facebook friends. She really mastered the art of photography.

Or do I want them to know me as the mother who put my all into loving them, guiding them, teaching them. The mother who pointed them to the Father and who modeled a Godly life for them?

Don't I want to be remembered as the mother who knew it, who lived it?

It's not about me!

15 comments:

Jessica B said...

Thanks for sharing! That was a great reminder. It really isn't about us, but rather, it's all about Jesus, who died for us so that we can live with him forever! :)

Love the photo, too!!

Ky said...

Ouch! You just smacked me in the face, Kathleen. I do that too and I'm trying to be very conscious of it and to give the kids my full attention, straight away. The look on their face when Mummy says, 'hang on' or 'in a minute' or 'not now' hurts my heart. I'm going to try even harder to be present for them.
Ok, I'm off to play with the Monkey. Big smiles on his face when I just said I'm going to come and play with him now. x

tsinclair said...

This same thought has been on my mind for quite a while. While I have made improvements, I know that I still have A LOT of work to do.
Thanks for the reminder

Candra Georgi said...

aren't they though?

as a mom of three little boys i know colors all too well.

Stephani said...

I love everything about this post! I applaud what you have to say here. Wonderful photo and verse as well!

Susan said...

Awesome word! Your daugther is precious♥

Bunch of Barrons said...

Great post. Right on!

Pamela said...

15 years ago when my daughter was 3 she told me, "Mommy, shutthe 'puter off." I never got over it and determined to be "present" with her at all times. I didn't always achieve it, but now that she's 18, I'm so thankful for those days.

julie said...

Very profound...thank you so much for the reminder to be truly present for our children. I will take these words to heart & try to do better. Thank you :)

Michelle said...

I absolutely love this!! I did a similar post when I first started blogging. I can feel myself sliding backwards instead of going forward and making them a priority. I need to re-visit this whole concept. At least we'll have some time off for vacation next week. And then hopefully they'll have my "almost" full attention. Thanks for posting! And for stopping by my blog earlier.

Rachelp said...

I love that book...the power of Thankfulness!

Jessaca said...

Yes they are a reward and sometimes I think that I am just not doing a great job of taking care of those wonderful rewards that The Lord has blessed me with. Then they something like you are great mom.
Thank you for this post!!! What a great reminder. Have a good one!!!

leavesnbloom said...

I've backed off posting so much - I can hardly keep up with the comments these days never mind be a working mum and looking after house and garden and practise photography.

Brownie said...

Ow.

Red just asked me to print a dinosaur the other day. I said "no" - my reason was the several crumpled ones that I had already printed.

But really... would another one really hurt me?

geessshhh.... way to drive the point home.

Thanks. :)

Boomer and Buggy said...

Such a sweet moment you've captured!