I have a confession to make. I may have spent our family fortune--such as it is--on two very cramped hermit crabs. You see, after we went to Learning Things (and we'll discuss the monetary repercussions of that visit when you get home), I couldn't help but stop at the PetSmart across the street (incidentally, it was right next to Starbucks).
Because you do not have as close a relationship with Hermit and Lightening as I do, you probably do not know that it has been rather tight quarters for the two of them in their little carry-along tote. Because that little pint-size plastic tote was $5.00 by itself, imagine my surprise when I found a 10-gallon, glass aquarium for $13.00! What a deal! A deal I couldn't pass up.
The problem is that the 10-gallon aquarium had to be filled with stuff. You know, to make it feel homey and all. And Hermit and Lightening appreciated having a new home set up for them. Really, they did. It was actually quite fascinating to see them explore their new digs. I know...you don't care one way or the other about the crabs' emotions.
However, you do care about your children's education. And let me tell you that despite the fact that I may have dropped our fortune in the nation's largest pet franchise, the children got a great educational experience out of it. They all gathered around the tank and declared themselves "Hermit Crab Scientists." Then the two oldest ones wrote books about them. (I know that will surprise you, especially about our young gentleman who, I guess, didn't realize he was doing school because he wouldn't be caught dead doing school and enjoying it.)
So, you see, this was actually money very wisely spent. Experiences like these are sure to build a foundation for future lucrative careers. Even though we are now fortune-less, we needn't worry because someday those futures will come to fruition and we can just move in with one of them. Reminding them, of course, about their great education and all of our sacrifice, etc., etc.
Your Loving Wife