Sunday, October 31, 2010

Mrs. Halloween Scrooge

Once upon a time, there was a Halloween Scrooge. The untrained eye would never peg her as such for she loved candy and, as we all know, Halloween is a big holiday for the sweets; she had 4 children who seemed to have as much jolly fun as they wished to have; she loved going to pumpkin patches to select festive pumpkins; and she even smiled brightly when the neighborhood children knocked on her door for candy.

But deep, deep down inside, she was not a big fan of Halloween, and with each passing year, any enthusiasm she had for the day waned even more.

The evil in Mrs. Halloween Scrooge always surfaced first when it came time to buy costumes. "These silly things cost way too much," she would complain as loudly as possible at the store so that all customers might have the opportunity to ponder her astute observations. No matter what her children wanted to be for Halloween, she would try her very best to talk them into wanting to be whatever was cheapest.

This year, Mrs. Halloween Scrooge and her family were in the Arctic for Halloween, and this made the price of costumes anger her even more. If the costumes were to be hidden under coats and mittens and scarves and hats, really, what was the point? She even suggested to her oldest trick-or-treater that she skip the costume and wear regular clothes under her coat. Who would know? Surely she would get candy anyway.

While Mrs. Halloween Scrooge enjoyed hunting for and selecting the Halloween pumpkin, the carving of the pumpkin was another holiday element which brought the evil out of the old woman. The guts were stringy, stinky, and slimy, and carving hurt her poor, arthritic hands. This year, she had the children simply paint their little pumpkins.

Then, of course, there was the matter of the candy. Like costumes, candy is far too overpriced, and she complained bitterly about buying bags of it. Of course, she did not complain about the candy her children brought home in their buckets and often, after the lights were out and the children tucked snugly in their beds, she would sneak into the kitchen and steal candy from her own children's buckets.

Mrs. Halloween Scrooge was clearly in the wrong for this violation, especially considering that, this year since they were in the Arctic, she made her husband take the children out trick-or-treating. "It's too cold out there," she whined as she shooed the children and the husband out the door while she stood in the warm, cozy house in her soft, cozy bedroom slippers.

Of course the one thing that made Mrs. Halloween Scrooge smile in spite of all of her evil was seeing how cute her children looked all dressed up, their anticipation bubbling over into their twinkling eyes and big grins.

And even as Mrs. Halloween Scrooge sits in her warm, cozy house, her feet enveloped in her soft, cozy slippers, and ponders what the dentist is going to say at tomorrow's appointment, she can't help being just a little bit excited for the children and the husband to come back home. Once they're home, the children will inevitably spend some time sorting their candy, trading it back and forth, and of course begging for "just one more piece. Pleeeeeaaase?"


tsinclair said...

Sounds like you have the right idea. :-)

Love the idea of painting pumpkins instead of carving - combine art and save on the gooey mess.

I was more of a Scrooge than you this year. Matthew went as a football player (original,huh?) and Austin merely wore a mask with some camo clothes.

I did not even buy candy to hand out...I am at work, so there will be no one home to hand it out. (the kids went with the neighbors)

I am ready for tomorrow, I am getting my fall decor out and thinking Christmas :-)

Amy @ Cheeky Cocoa Beans said...

Aww, we love you anyway, Mrs. Halloween Scrooge. ;) And your kids look great in their overpriced costumes! I think I could top you with the Mrs. H.S. We *never* buy costumes--seriously, never bought one, and rarely buy accessories to make costumes. We typically go to a fall festival at a church and forgo the whole trick or treating thing, and the kids' costumes are scrounged together. Daniel was a basketball player this year, using an Upward b'ball uniform! Bethany was, naturally, a "princess ballerina" (her words) with her tutu/leotard someone gave her along with a wand. Noah bought himself a $2 hockey mask, so he was Jason in a sweatsuit. Besides the no store-bought costumes tradition, we also don't buy pumpkins, so you can remind your kids that it could be worse. I love the painting idea. We'll do that if we ever decorate pumpkins--my kids would love it!

You know how I said Bethany was very generous with her candy and I had to tell her to stop giving it to me? She just came and gave me yet another candy corn packet. LOL Also, she's currently playing a game with Daddy where he "wins" her candy.

Bunch of Barrons said...

Great costumes. I know what you mean about overpriced EVERYTHING. Plus my kids decide 5 minutes after I get a costume on them, they don't want to wear it anymore. ;)

dclouser said...

Just think of all the memories you're building for your kiddos! Alex's cat costume is so great - she looks adorable.

Anonymous said...

You crack me up! Love your painted pumpkin idea. I wonder if I could get that one past them next year since ours rotted on our front step this year. Gross! Here is a costume tip. I have one that likes to create her own costume with household items and goodwill finds. Her cost this year? 2.60. Love it! The other likes the store bought jumpsuit so I bought one last year on clearance and didn't give it to him til this year. That made Halloween really sweet!
:-) Marianna

Teacher Mommy said...

I had NO ENERGY AT ALL this weekend and barely made it off the couch. Great timing. I was truly hoping we'd be able to avoid the whole Jack o' Lantern thing, only to have The Ex and his girlfriend ever so generously send the kids back with pumpkins in tow so that we could have the carving pleasure. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I got my brother to help them instead. I bribed him with a King-size Three Musketeers bar all to his very own.

I'm with you, really. Bah humbug indeed!

Anonymous said...

We got no one to come to our house but still we get three more pounds of candy:)- alex

CrossView said...

Amen and Hallelujer! We've been pumpking painting for years. Theexception is only when Guy feels like dealing with the gut pile.

My 14-yr old loves EVERY holiday. So we compromised and had a party here at home - just the 5 of us. This was my favorite Halloween ever!

Arby said...

Wow. Time to pass on the curmudgeon mantle. You win!