Weekly Wrap-Up: Ramblings

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Clearly I don't know how to write anymore. So indulge me by allowing me to ramble. And I include these ramblings in the Homeschool Weekly Wrap-Up carnival because, well, there's more to a homeschool week than just cracking open the books. A homeschool week in this house is, after all, Life.

**I'm watching the news right now. Well, listening to it. The story of how one of my state's illustrious school superintendents took 400K of the stimulus money to send some teachers and administrators to a California spa. Way to go. I'm so glad my tax dollars help fund things like this. Especially when I don't even use the public school system.

**This was a fairly productive week on the homeschooling front. We finished up Ancient Rome. If I wasn't so lazy, I would provide a picture of our finished lapbooks. We also finished up our read-aloud, The Bronze Bow. Very good, powerful book. A few frustrations still hang over our little academy--the boys, one in particular, still struggle with reading and math. I think it's more of an attitude thing, though, than an academic problem. He really, truly wants nothing to do with school. Never wants to read for pleasure. I'm open for ideas.

**The kids expressed quite a bit of interest in Pompeii and Mt. Vesuvius, so we added a little to our science curriculum this week and built our first volcano. It is not finished yet, though, and we have not yet erupted it. Pictures next week.

**I bought some sugary cereal for the kids for this morning. If we put junk cereal on the counter, they help themselves and don't bother us on a Saturday morning. Gotta love that.

**My little old lady friend with Jehovah's Witnesses turned up on my doorstep again this morning. I'm afraid I messed up, though. As you know, after she left the first time, I did some JW research and was all prepared to discuss such matters with her--or with any of her fellow JW's--the next time they showed up. However, this morning I met her at the door still clad in my PJs, and I lost my knowledge and words. When she observed my dress, she apologized for coming so early. Which was an absurd apology since it was 10:15. I've asked God to send her back here. And I'll be ready this time. I'll invite her in, and we'll chat over a cup of tea.

**We're trying another church tomorrow. We like the church we've been attending; however, our BFF's have begun attending one they really like. Since we have not made a friend yet at our new church, we thought we'd give it a try. The kids are excited to join their best buddies again. Alex, however, had already made some new friends at the new church, so, while she is very excited to be reunited with Grace, she hates the thought of leaving new friends. When we asked her how she would feel about visiting another church, she shrugged and said, "I don't care where we go as long as we are going to church." Which is code for, "Can't you people make up your minds and stay somewhere?" I'm not too worried about her. In the event that we were to choose this other church over our new church, she would see her new church friends at co-op anyway.

**I signed the boys up for Time4Learning because I thought it would help them with their reading and math, not to mention teach Michael some of the US History we haven't covered yet but that will be on this national test this year. I was also hoping it would be supplemental material they could learn independently. However, I discovered that so many of the activities require fairly heavy reading, I ended up doing it all with them. Twice over. Not fun for them. Not fun for me. So I canceled it.

**I have known about Time4Learning for quite some time but have been very reluctant to sign up for it or for any online program for that matter. The kids already spend as much time as we will allow in front of a screen. Why should I add to that with their schooling? However, I've been looking at curriculum for next year and am discovering that everything these days is online. I mean, I know that that is the direction of our technological world, but it's amazing how quickly the world wide web infiltrates every single aspect of life. I've even come across full curriculum for my preschooler online! Not going to sit her in front of a computer screen for hours! Don't get me wrong. I run my own online class. I'm considering Teaching Textbooks for Alex next year because math is slowing slipping from my not-fond-of-math hands. But I feel that a little one-on-one time with a human being for part of the school day can be a plus.

A Pocketful of Courage M&Ms

She looks so sweet and innocent, doesn't she? Most of the time she is. But when she isn't? Well, she can throw a princess tantrum fit for a queen. She threw one of these on our first Wednesday visit to our new church. Before we got there, she assured me with her typical charming smiles that she would be more than happy to walk into her class without a fuss.

But when I got to the door of the classroom, she wrapped her little arms and legs around me so tightly, I couldn't pry them off. When I had finally freed her legs, they started kicking (me) in true tantrum fashion. I managed to pass her off to the nursery worker who, through fake smiles and above the screaming, assured me it would be "just fine" if I left the little monster with her.

What my little princess needed was a trip out to the woodshed, but truth be told, I was just as stressed out as she was. It was a disorganized first night, and I didn't know where I was to go nor where my children should be dropped off. I'm sure my frustration had worn off on her.

So, taking the nursery worker at her word, I turned to try to find my way, all the while hearing her screams echoing down the halls of the church. When I went to pick her up, she was cheery as ever. I thanked the nursery worker profusely and apologized several hundred times on behalf of my little girl. I was told that, "She sure does have a set of lungs of her!" which is polite for, "Please don't ever bring your cute little bundle of terror back to my classroom!"

All week, I dreaded this return to church, but I knew for the sake of my other 3 kids I would return. Not to mention I had already paid for all of us to participate in Wednesday nights. Not to mention I enjoy some adult interaction myself. But I dreaded doing the tantrum all over again. Clearly the nursery worker dreaded it too because when I walked in with Audrey, I heard her exclaim to her fellow worker, "Oh no!" which at first really ticked me off because this is my sweet, little princess and how dare you! But then I remembered what it is like to be a volunteer in a church's children's program. And I remembered all of the little monsters who, over the years, made me exclaim, "Oh no!" when I would see them walk through the doors.

Lucky for the nursery workers, I was armed with a brilliant plan. I built her anticipation early afternoon by telling her I had a special surprise for her. Then, right before we got to her class, I pulled out a little baggie of M&Ms. "These are Courage M&Ms," I told her. "I want you to put them in your pocket, and everytime you feel like crying, you just pop one in your mouth. OK?" She nodded.

We walked in. I knelt down to hug her and got the tight death grip around my neck. "Do you need one of your M&Ms?" I whispered in her ear. The little hands around my neck loosened and she reached in for a candy. She popped it in her mouth, kissed my cheek, and I walked out.

When I picked her up, the nursery worker was all smiles--and not a fake smile this time. She greeting me enthusiastically. "Not a tear this time!"

I think God's throwing me subtle hints that I need to be hangin' with the elderly.

I haven't talked much about our church search because it ended almost as quickly as it began, and the transition to our new church has been fairly uneventful. Remember that church with the smoke and flashing lights? The same church where we attend homeschool co-op? Well, that's the church we decided to call Home. Turns out they have a "blended" service, which is a more traditional service. Which means no smoke or flashing lights.

We like having both services available because, really, if you ignore the flashiness, the worship in the contemporary service is outstanding. Then again, the worship in the more traditional service is pretty good too. We prefer the pastor of the blended service even over the main pastor who preaches in the contemporary.

To get the Perfect Church, then, if we could have both worship leaders lead using the contemporary format minus the smoke and lights followed by the blended service pastor's preaching....well, I'm not naive enough to think there is such thing as a Perfect Church. That will only happen when we are all one church in Heaven. But this perfect combination has been a topic of discussion for my husband and me nonetheless. I suppose at the very least we could make it a board game called The Perfect Church. Of course with the inherent subjectiveness about such a topic, there could never be a winner.

Anyway.

The one thing about the blended service that makes it a little less than a perfect match is the fact that there is very little diversity. And I'm not talking ethnic diversity here; there is some of that. I'm talking about Hair Color Diversity; there is very little of that. The hair color is mostly...white. NOT that I have anything against the old folks. It's just that this fact makes it a little bit more of a challenge to form new friendships with people our age who have children our children's age.

Wednesday night I found myself once again in a room mostly full of, uh, more seasoned people. There were three choices for adult classes: a class on God's promises, one about marriage, and one about parenting. I almost always choose the one about parenting because, well, that's where I always feel I fall short. But, really, how many of these classes do I need? NOT that I'm anywhere near a perfect parent at this point, but after awhile, they all tend to impart the same advice and wisdom. So why am I not getting it? In pondering this question and these classes, I had an epiphany. Not an extraordinary one because it's something that really ought to be obvious to a Christian: No matter how many self-help books I read or study on marriage and parenting, I will never become a more Godly wife OR mother unless I focus on my relationship with God, on who I am in Christ. So I opted for the class entitled God's Enduring Promises.

Apparently no one my age has had the same epiphany. Or maybe they just haven't read as many self-help books on marriage and parenting because there was not too much middle-aged youth represented in the room. But you know what? There is always time for forming new friendships with my peers. And who says I can't develop friendships with the older folks? And who knows? Maybe those older folks, being wiser and all that, will offer me parenting and marriage advice...a three-for-one class!

Back to Square One

I'm afraid we are back to Square One on two significant and ongoing events in our lives. First, the sale of our home. Would you believe that, amidst the chaos of Thanksgiving and our middle-of-the-night date, we had a house showing? Yes, Mark and I returned from Black Friday around 7:30 am, cleaned like crazy people, and had a house showing at 10:00. Another no-sale. Back to the drawing board on that front.

Then there was church today. Accompanied by our precious friends from our old church, we visited a new one that was quite a distance from us. Considering our church history, distance is not really a factor; however, even in the days when we commuted 35 miles to church every Wednesday and Sunday, it was a straight shot down the interstate. The route to this church took us down many two-lane roads laden with traffic lights. I can only imagine the time it would take to get there on a Wednesday night at rush hour.

Despite the fact that, by the time we made it there, we had already made up our mind about the church, I elicited some feedback from the children:

Me: Did you boys have fun today in your class?

Them: Yes.

Me: What was fun about it?

Them: We got Rice Krispy treats.

Me: But what else was fun?

Them: Jack wanted a second Rice Krispy treat.

Me: But what besides the Rice Krispy treat was fun?

Them: I don’t know; we didn’t do that much.

Me: Was there a story?

Them: Ummm…Yeah, I think so.

Me: What was the story?

Them: I don’t remember.

Then Alex chimes in: I liked it better than the [church we went to last week].

Me: Why?

Alex: Well, Grace and I got to share a bag of potato chips.

Me: But what else did you like about it?

Alex: Oh, and we had some candy corn.

(Are you sensing a theme here?)

Me: (rolls her eyes)

Alex: (quickly) OH! And I liked the message better.

Me: What was it about?

Alex: About being thankful.

A Retention Lesson to all of you church pastors/planters/directors/associates/ministers out there:

Feed the little children, and they will stay!

The Worst Shopping Trip

I know I have mentioned before that I do not care for shopping. But this shopping experience has been particularly excruciating. Sure, there are the usual assessments: this one is too big, that one is too small; this one just doesn't feel right. This shopping experience is different, though. It involves people. Us. Our future. Our children.

In September, our church was affected by the floods that inundated much of the state. But the physical flood of nature was just one flood the church was battling. We were battling a huge financial flood, and the waters of that flood continued to rise even as the weather-induced flood waters began to recede. The financial story is too long for this forum, and in fact, I do not even know all of the details of the story. What it finally meant for our church, however, was The End.

Although the final service at our church is not until next week, we bowed out a little early for a number of reasons. One is that I have such a strong desire to find a new church home by Christmas. For some reason, that is very important to me. Secondly, we already grieved for the church on that day back in September when the flooding rains just added to the financial catastrophe we were already in. Since that time we have been serving with the children's ministry and felt so detached anyway.

So we began our big, excruciating church shopping trip. It's been awhile since we've done this. When we got married, Mark and I continued to attend the church we attended when we were dating. There was never a question about whether or not we would stay there. But after a few years, we no longer felt it was right for us. That began our first Church Shop. It was a difficult too. We were trying unsuccessfully to start a family, and it seems everywhere we went, we found ourselves in the midst of groups of young marrieds who could talk about nothing but their children.

We finally gave up looking for that church that listed in their church bulletin: Young Infertile Group, Meets at 11:00, Rm. 201 and returned to our church where we were...comfortable. God answered our prayers and gave us 3 children in as many years. By that time, we knew we could not stay at that church any longer. We could see it was a church in trouble, and no one was taking any steps to fix it, nor was anyone listening to our suggestions. We were one of the first to leave. The church closed within a year or two of our leaving.

After we left that church, we found the church where we have been for the last 6 years, the church that has been our Home. It's gone through lots of changes too. The last two years have been tough because of all of those changes. Still, it's been Home. We have created precious friendships there. It is the only church our children remember, the only church our 4th child has known. But those changes have been disheartening, and we kind of just knew the end was near.

So now we are here. Shopping. Some in our church family have merged with another church, but we have chosen not to. The other church is an even greater distance from us, plus we are afraid it will just be "more of the same". The other day I was asked if I felt God "calling us away" from the church that agreed to merge. I'm sure I've mentioned before that I really stink at discerning God's calling. I've been asking God to just tell me what church to go to, but I have yet to hear an audible voice, and I have a difficult time knowing if the prodding I hear is from God or my selfish desires.

We have visited two churches thus far. Of course there are always positives and negatives to each. What's difficult is carting the children around from church to church. Thankfully, the older two are not shy and are therefore game to walking into a room full of strangers; later I have them report to me 3 positives and 3 negatives. Today even Audrey went into her class. They definitely appreciated today's service more than last week's. We felt sort of comfortable today, although the worship time was a little showy. We loved the singing at our old church--we felt we were a part of a contemporary band, yet we didn't feel the worship team was putting on a show. Today you throw in a smoke machine and flashing lights, and it turns kinda showy. Not to mention the pastor didn't go real deep.

I have found that to be true almost across the board. I have listened to more sermons online over the last three weeks than I typically listen to in a whole year. I don't know if it has to do with the "dumbing down of America" or what, but very few pastors go deep. In fact, many pastors barely crack open the Word of God in their sermons. That is very disturbing to me. The problem I'm finding is that we want contemporary worship combined with sermons that go deep, and that combination seems hard to come by.

So that is our journey right now. Thankfully, one difference in a Church Shop in this day and age as compared to our very first Church Shop is that we have the internet where we can "screen" churches before we spend a Sunday visiting. Meanwhile, I continue to hope God will just give me a church name as I read my Bible in devotions tomorrow.

Sudden Change

A big part of our lives is about to change. And suddenly, with so little warning...as I imagine has happened to many here in our area after so much was lost to the floods. Since our home was not affected adversely, I did not think I would be personally affected by it at all. However, our church is a big part of our lives, and it was affected seemingly--at least from where we stand now--beyond repair.

The storms apparently and according to our Pastor, caused an underground spring to break loose, flooding the downstairs. Even after the rains have ceased, water continues to flow into the walls and flooring, and mold has already begun to grow. Estimated repairs are in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, money we do not have right now as a church that was already struggling financially.

So just like that, we've moved out. Perhaps not permanently, but I would venture to say indefinitely. Tonight's activities had already been canceled, but like so many daily challenges, my assumption was that the water would be pumped out, the mess cleaned out, back to business as usual on Sunday. However, instead there are already movers helping get valuable items out of harm's way, and we have plans to meet with another church on Sunday.

I realize church is not about the building. It's about the people. I love the people at our church, and I rest safely each week in the familiarity. I know that I will pass certain familiar faces in the children's area, in the preschool area, in the long hallway. And I know that when I take my usual seat in the sanctuary I can glance over at specific areas and see the same people sitting there. While I know many of these same people will venture over to the new church, there will inevitably be many who do not. They will go other directions. Last week may have been the last time I saw them.

I know my children will experience this as well. I haven't even told them yet. What stopped us dead in our tracks a couple years ago from pursuing a move to Florida was our children's comments that "We will miss our friends at church." I know they will miss some of them now, even without a move a state away. Not only will they miss friends, but I have a sneaking suspicion we will have to start all over with Jacob. He has been so brave for the last year and half going into this class. But it was all familiar to him.

Change is never easy. This one is so sudden and heartbreaking. I know life--and what is so significantly a part of it--will ease back in to some sense of normalcy at some point. The transition will be uncomfortable, but hopefully we come full circle back to familiarity sooner rather than later.